For the first time, I was actually afraid to take a belt test.  My belt tests at GA Tech were much harder.  In this test, there were many lessons learned.  I will not include all the examples that correlate to the lessons.  The lessons can be applied to life as well as the test. 

First lesson:  Share with as many people as possible that you are testing especially if you are nervous about doing it.  I emailed 200-300 people an invitation.  The night before, I wanted to back out, but didn't because I knew people would want to know.  I also didn't know how many people would come who did not RSVP.

I also became sick the morning of the test.  Normally, I would become 10 times more ill by engaging in physical activity.  I did not back out because so many people knew. 

Second lesson:  Playing the game is more important than whether or not I prevail.  There were many circumstances to overcome just to be able to test - being sick, time, learning some forms as little as two days beforehand, etc.

Third lesson:  Move to your own rythym if moving with the rythym of others does not work. 

Fourth lesson:  When the mind is quiet and still there is ease of movement.  There are no obstacles.  Without a quiet and still mind, there is pain and confusion.  Breaking boards was a great example.  Boards that are normally not a problem to break, were a problem when I was thinking.  Forms and kicking combinations were a problem when thinking.  When I did not think, a piece of one board flew across the room and sparring was easy.   

Fifth lesson:  When you practice anything for six months it becomes a part of who you are.

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Tae Kwon Do and My Future

I have often pondered what being a black belt really meant.  The meaning had slipped my grasp such that I no longer know what it means to be a black belt.  While at first I found this to be greatly disturbing, I now find it freeing.  Why freeing?  Because I know that in any given moment I can invent and design who I am as a black belt.   

I am not searching for the destination or attaching any meaning to the destination (i.e. results).  Rather, I am inventing the journey that would bring the most joy and fulfillment that can be shared with others.  It is only in being joyful and alive, myself, that others will be touched by the joy and aliveness.

I am including my black belt in my overall vision for my life:  the possibility of people reconnecting to their highest expression.  Do I know what it looks like?  Not completely.  I have visions of possible directions that I can take and that the world of martial arts, as a whole, can take.  What there is to do is take one step at a time in my journey as a black belt, letting the path unfold before me without being attached to the results.  What there is to do is play the game that impassions me no matter how it looks. 

So, I commit to giving my skills and my passion away to people as a gift while honoring myself.  That may, initially, take the form of teaching people.  It may also take the form of creating partnerships with organizations who want to see their vision reach more people.

What has me inventing and designing a new future, as a black belt, when I have been holding back for so long?  When I was practicing on the sands of Los Cabos, Mexico, another tourist told me that she had seen me practicing.  She was seriously considering taking Tae Kwon Do when she returned home.  In that moment, I realized how stingy it would be to take what I learned without giving back.
 

The opportunity is to take what has been created here, and will continue to be created, and apply it to all of life. After all, isn't that what life is all about:  taking on the next challenge and giving everything you have while enjoying the ride?